You’ve got to love the 1950’s. It was a time of innocence as well as a time of mass paranoia and the source for some of the campiest tellings of science fiction ever told. Destroy All Humans has the era down pat, where instead of fighting off an alien invasion you’re actually the invader. The blend of a great art style, excellent voice acting, humor, and a great soundtrack to back it all up make Destroy All humans one of the best games to come out in this otherwise dry time of year.

Destroy All Humans takes place in the 1950's in the middle of the red scare. You play as an alien named Crypto-137, a member of the big headed, black eyed race called the Furons who are intent on taking over all of humanity. Further adding gas to the fire is the disappearance of your brother, Crypto-136, who crashed in the town of Rockwell and hasn’t been heard from since. You’re sent out by your boss, Pox, to search for him and keep the pathetic humans from stealing Furon technology. Along the way, you need to harvest DNA from the humans’ brain stems, since they carry slight traces of Furon DNA thanks to some questionable experiments they did in the past as well as being the only way Furons can reproduce since they lack the appropriate…parts for the job (which might explain their foul dispositions – ouch!). You can also use DNA you’ve collected to purchase upgrades to your weapons and saucer.

Gameplay is mission based, with Pox acting as your intelligence advisor, you’ll go everywhere from a small farm in rural America, a seaside town in California, to the not-so-secret military base in the middle of the desert called Area 42, and eventually to the hustle and bustle of Capital City. Missions aren’t too varied and usually consist of goals like “collect this many items”, “destroy these targets”, and “spy on these people”. Later missions will mesh together any combination of these, or all of them for that matter.

There is a certain sense of strategy to all of this, as Crypto is able to use his holobob ability to assume the identities of anyone he sees. This will allow you to walk through the streets unnoticed as long as your concentration meter is full. Your concentration meter controls all of Crypto’s telekinetic abilities, such as the holobob. You can keep it full by scanning the minds of random passers by and reading their thoughts. Needless to say, you’ll get quite a few humorous quips as you read more and more minds in each town, though they do repeat quite a bit. You have to be careful how you act, however, as the game uses an alert system similar to Grand Theft Auto, where you’ll get a panic alert followed by police, army, and finally the G-Men of the Majestic who possess similar technology to yours.

In addition to the holobob ability, Crypto can also use telekinesis to pick up nearby people, animals, and vehicles and fling them in any direction in addition to the ability to hypnotize people into causing a distraction (with some really humorous results) or simply put them to sleep. You will get some sweaty palm moments as you’re trying to keep yourself cloaked with the holobob while hypnotizing G-Men (who can see through your disguise) while attempting to keep your concentration full at the same time.

Of course, Crypto has some high powered weaponry in addition to his mental powers. You start the game with the Zap-O-Matic, which can electrocute your enemies and stun them or kill them if you keep the pressure on. Eventually you’ll get the Disintegrator Ray which vaporizes humans and vehicles alike, the Ion Detonator which acts as a kind of super grenade that will vaporize and send anything flying in its vicinity, and of course, the anal probe, which if fully charged, will send humans running only to have their heads explode allowing you to collect the sweet, sweet DNA they leave behind.

When you finish missions, you’ll be allowed to freely roam the area in order to collect hidden probes as well as side missions for extra DNA. These side missions are key since you’ll be required to have a certain amount of DNA to move on to the next mission from time to time. Side missions can be fun and repetitive at the same time. You’ll have to complete simple goals such as killing so many humans, completing a race, or by far the best of the bunch, Armageddon, which you’ll have to hop into your saucer and destroy the city. You’ll have to complete these side missions repeatedly, with each attempt increasing the number of goals or giving you less time on each go, in order to get 100% complete on each level. This is obviously where the repetitive nature of the game kicks in as you’ll be playing the same missions over and over again until you reach their eventual goal cap, then you’ll have to move on to the next one. Just completing the main story missions’ counts for about 50% of the game all together, so if you’re looking for 100%, be prepared for the doldrums.

The saucer portions of the game are enjoyable just based off of the amount of carnage you’re causing, especially since there’s something satisfying about bringing the White House and the Capitol building crashing to the ground (and no, I’m not a terrorist, sheesh). You’ll start with the basic death ray which consists of a simple red beam of destruction which will have to recharge after extended use. You’ll also get your paws on the sonic boom, which acts like a far more powerful version of the Ion Detonator capable of sending a building crashing in a couple of shots. Last, but not least, you’ll get the Ion Deconstructor which will cause a massive explosion that will destroy everything in its area of effect. You also have an Abducto Beam that will let you pick up and throw cars, tanks, and people like they were toys for some seriously sadistic fun.

As stated earlier, the visuals really go with the time period as everything oozes 1950’s b-movie sci-fi. You’ll encounter fedora wearing, pipe smoking business men in addition to their meatloaf cooking, Valium munching housewives, wild haired German scientists, and foul mouthed union guys, among many others. Cities are also detailed nicely as you’ll barely ever see two buildings that look alike, except for Capital City, but that’s mostly in jest. The recurring theme is also in the graphic for each mission you start all resemble an old b-movie poster which is a nice touch. You’ll also get some humorous newspaper front pages with headlines depicting a government cover-up of the destruction you caused or when you get killed where you’ll be referred to as a circus midget or hairless monkey. There are some issues with slowdown, especially during the final battle and when there are a lot of characters onscreen at once. There are also some issues with the draw distance as well where objects and people will appear out of nowhere, which can throw a monkey wrench in keeping a low profile if one of the people that appear out of nowhere just happens to be a G-Man.

The Havok engine is in full force here, especially when using the sonic boom or abducto beam on your saucer. Vehicles and people will be blown away and ricochet off of nearby scenery realistically, though how they can sometimes survive is a mystery to me. The same goes for your psycho kinesis since you’ll have fun picking up cars from the street and slamming them against the ground repeatedly and eventually hurling them towards oncoming enemies as a makeshift bomb. There’s just something really satisfying about that.

Sound is by far the best aspect of Destroy All Humans. The soundtrack directly mimics movies from the era mixed with some Tim Burtonesque weirdness for good measure. Voice acting is also well done, though crypto is channeling his best Jack Nicholson here. The conversations between him and Pox can range from funny to absurd, especially on their views of human society. Every pedestrian, housewife, and G-Man is voiced to perfection. There were some points where the cut scenes lost their sound which doesn’t make much sense, but came back after retrying the mission.

Sure, Destroy All Humans may not be as open ended as Grand Theft Auto, but it delivers what we’ve all wished for years, to finally get the opportunity to play the bad guy. It combines the campiness of movies like Plan Nine from Outer Space and The Day the Earth Stood Still with production values that rival some of the best games out today. It may have its shortcomings, but the good far outweighs the bad. If you choose to play the main story missions, the game clocks in at a lean eight hours. The repetitive side missions and probe searching do yield some great unlockable content such as animatics, behind the scenes footage, clips from such (ahem) classics as Plan Nine and Teenagers from Outer Space. Add to that a really interesting feature that covers the evolution of the game and you might have enough motivation to go through the motions of completing the side missions in addition to the main game. Mystery Science Theater and Ed Wood fans rejoice - your game has arrived.

- Brad Hicks (aka Dr. Swank), SwankWorld Media